Sexual behaviours in children & adolescents

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A guide for adults to IDENTIFY, ASSESS and RESPOND to sexual behaviours which cause concern

Knowing how to identify and respond to sexual behaviours in children and adolescents helps adults to support the development of healthy sexuality and protect young people from harm or abuse.

Sexuality is integral to a person’s identity and develops throughout life, from birth to death. A person’s sexuality is influenced by their experiences and social, emotional, physical, cultural, economic and political factors. It is natural for people across all ages to express their sexuality through their behaviour.

Sexual behaviour may be expressed in a variety of ways including language; touch; exploring one’s own body or another’s; sexual activity; games and interactions.

All people have the right to express their sexuality. When children or adolescents display sexual behaviour which increases their vulnerability or causes harm to another, adults have a responsibility to take action to provide support and protection.

Children and adolescents who have a disability, have been abused, or experienced other disruptions to their development or socialisation, may be at increased risk of exposure to, or of developing, inappropriate sexual behaviours. Adults who care for these young people have a duty of care to provide relevant information and support.

By following steps 1, 2 and 3 adults can learn to identify, assess and respond to sexual behaviour in children and adolescents.

1. IDENTIFY

What is the behaviour? green, orange or red?

Sexual development is influenced by many factors. When using the traffic lights framework to categorise behaviour, it is necessary to consider the current social, cultural and familial context.

The table on the next page lists specific examples of red, orange and green light behaviours at various ages. Note that these are examples only and must be considered in context.

Use the traffic lights framework to identify the appropriateness of the behaviour and then follow steps 2 and 3 to assess and respond. All green, orange and red behaviours require some level of attention and support.

red

sexual behaviours that are outside what is considered ‘normal’ – behaviour which is excessive, secretive, compulsive, coercive or degrading indicate a need for immediate intervention and action

orange

sexual behaviours that are outside ‘normal’ behaviour in terms of persistence, frequency or inequality in age or developmental abilities signal the need to take notice and gather information to assess the appropriate action

green

sexual behaviours that are ‘normal’, considered healthy – spontaneous, curious, light hearted, easily distracted, experimentation and equality of age, size and ability levels provide opportunities to give the child or adolescent positive feedback and information

TRAFFIC LIGHTS – sexual behaviours from birth to eighteen

Red

Birth to 5 years

5 to 9 years

9 to 12 years

13 to 18 years

Orange

Birth to 5 years

5 to 9 years

9 to 12 years

13 to 18 years

Green

Birth to 5 years

5 to 9 years

9 to 12 years

13 to 18 years

Traffic lights adapted from the Child at Risk Assessment Unit. (2000). Age Appropriate Sexual Play and Behaviour in Children. Canberra: Australian Capital Territory Government Community Care. 5-11.

2. ASSESS

What is the behaviour communicating?

All behaviour communicates. When children or adolescents do not have the language, experience or ability to seek help, adults must look carefully at their behaviour to find out what they need.

When sexual behaviours are identified as inappropriate or offending, adults must think about why the young person is exhibiting the behaviour.

Q1. What are the issues or concerns regarding the behaviour?

Q2. What might these concerns indicate?

Understanding the child or adolescent and the issues that may be contributing to the behaviour, guides the planning of effective responses.

3. RESPOND

What can be done to address the child’s needs?

All behaviour has a function. When adults understand why the behaviour may be occurring, they can respond by helping to meet the needs of children and adolescents in more appropriate ways.

Behaviour usually reflects a range of needs. Many strategies may be required to respond to these needs. It is also important to address the needs of the people who have an impact on the lives of children or adolescents, eg family, carers, teachers and support workers.

Strategies for meeting the need could include:

What do you think? green, orange or red?

Use the traffic lights framework to identify these scenarios

1. Harry, aged eight, masturbates for most of the day at school. When masturbating he will often expose his penis to the rest of the class.

2. Teekai, aged 13, spends a lot of time alone in his bedroom with the door shut. When his mum knocks on the door he tells her to go away. Lately he is putting his sheets and pyjamas into the washing basket to be washed every morning.

3. Gayle, aged 12, often tries to sit on the lap of her mum’s male friends. When she does, she will talk about their bodies and say that it is okay for them to kiss her. Sometimes she likes to dance for them and says she is being a pop star.

4. Kiya, aged 15, has been chatting with people on the internet for the last month. This Friday night, she intends to meet up with Geoff, a guy she has been talking with since last week. She is keen to meet him and hopes she will be able to wear her new jeans.

5. Pai and Marley, both aged four, are playing in the cubby house and have both taken their underpants off. They are looking at and touching each other’s genitals.

6. Harper, aged seven, tells her teacher that she has seen Lucas, aged 13, touching her best friend Cindi’s vagina.

Suggested answers: 1 = red 2 = green 3 = orange 4 = orange 5 = green 6 = red

What action should adults take?

All green, orange and red light behaviours require some form of attention and response. It is the level of intervention that will vary. Green light behaviours may be opportunities to provide positive feedback and information which supports healthy sexuality. Orange and red light behaviours may require observation, documentation, education, reporting, increased supervision, therapy and/or a legal response.

How serious is the behaviour?

When sexual behaviour raises concern or involves harm to others, the behaviour is serious. Thinking about the context in which the behaviour occurs helps to establish the seriousness of the behaviour.

If the answer to any of the following is yes, adults have a duty of care to take action.

The behaviour:

When determining the appropriate action identify the behaviour, consider the context and be guided by:

Sexuality education encourages open and clear communication to provide a foundation for the development of healthy sexual behaviours and attitudes.

Topics for education may include:

All children and adolescents have the right to be safe

Expressing sexuality through sexual behaviour is natural, healthy and a basic aspect of being human. Sexual behaviour which makes children or adolescents vulnerable or causes harm to another requires adult intervention to provide support and protection.

Adults do not have to do it alone

Talking about concerns helps to remove secrecy and prevent harm or abuse. Concerns might be discussed with a trusted friend, family member, teacher,

support worker, therapist, counsellor, the Department of Child Safety, Disability Services Queensland, Family Planning Queensland, Community Health or the police.

Helping yourself

Recognising that a behaviour is inappropriate is the first step in a process. Influencing a change in behaviours is complex and involves many factors including time, patience and commitment. Children and adolescents need adults to remain clear and consistent. Adults need to recognise that managing difficult situations can have a personal impact. Adults have to take time to look after themselves so that they are able to look after children and adolescents.

Where to get help

Parent Line: 1300 301 300

Lifeline: 13 11 14

DIAL: 3224 8444 or 1800 177 120

(Disability Information and Awareness Line)

Family Planning Queensland: 07 3250 0240

References

Cavanagh Johnson, T. (1991). Understanding the sexual behaviours of young children. SIECUS Report, August/September, 8-15.

Cavanagh Johnson, T. (2000). Sexualised children and children who molest. SIECUS Report, October/ November, 35-39.

Child at Risk Assessment Unit. (2000).Age appropriate sexual play and behaviour in children. Canberra: Australian Capital Territory Government Community Care.

Larsson, I. (2000). Sexual Abuse of Children: Child sexuality and sexual behaviour. Linkoping University: Socialstyrelsen.

Missouri Division of Family Services. Understanding and responding to the sexual behaviour of children: The range of sexual behaviour of adolescents. Retrieved May 11, 2005 from http://www.rollanet. org/~childlaw/miscdocs/sbcad.htm

Pithers, W. D., Gray, A., Cunningham, C. & Lane, S. (1993). From trauma to understanding: a guide for parents with children with sexual behaviour problems. Brandon: The Safer Society Press.

Queensland Police Service. (2005). Who’s chatting toyour kids? A must read for parents with internet access. Brisbane: Queensland Government Printing Service.

Smith, A., Agius, P., Dyson, S., Mitchell, A. & Pitts, M.(2003). Secondary students and sexual health: 2002 results of the 3rd national survey of Australian secondary students, HIV/AIDS and sexual health. Melbourne: Australian Research Centre in Sex Health and Society, La Trobe University

Walsh, A. (1999). IMPROVE and CARE: A model for responding appropriately to inappropriate masturbation. Sexuality and Disability 17(4): 82-94.

Disclaimer

Family Planning Queensland (FPQ) has taken every care to ensure that the information contained in this publication is accurate and up-to-date at the time of being published. As information and knowledge is constantlychanging, readers are strongly advised to confirm that the information complies with present research, legislation and policy guidelines. FPQ accepts no responsibility for difficulties that may arise as a result of an individual acting on the advice and recommendations it contains.

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Version 1 / August 2006
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